Thursday, January 7, 2010

I was thinking this the whole time I was there

For the next 2 days I'll be doing first aid courses. Today was very long and unnecessarily thorough. The instructor was good but he is certainly unaware of nose hair. He has eyebrows which are comedically bushy and long. How can you look in the mirror with such unkempt protruding hair hanging above your eyes and figure that it is OK to go out into public? What does his wife think? They must argue about it, there's no way they don't!

His nose is large and bulbous like that of an 80 year old Carl Malden. There are what I could count, 7 thick hairs that grew from his nose that reached a length of 1/4 inch, which I figured were trimmed to his specifications.

He has a fiercely thick mustache as well. His mustache overlaps his lip by 1/8 inch to a point where I assume he never kisses his wife. While watching him speak this mustache moves and wobbles above his lip and is just as animated as he is. His mustache is thicker than pubic hair and of a salt and pepper colour.

His nose has hair coming from inside of it too. Infact one hair that I kept noticing was well over an inch long and curled out from his honker and hung out like a cat's whisker. His nose hair was salt and pepper coloured as well, not to mention disturbingly thick. So thick I bet he can't even get his finger in there.

From a biological and evolutionary point of view I know that nose hair acts as a filter and impedes particulates and foreign debris from entering the airway of humans. The density of hair in this man's nose would suggest he breathes through dirt or lives on the dust plains of sub saharan africa.

The nose hair is so thick that it is hardly discernible from his mustache. It's really quite something to look at you know! I'm sure the nose hair is the bulk of his mustache but I can't be sure. I will be looking extra hard tomorrow.