This Bike makes me feel Gayer

So I was waiting at the lights in downtown St. John's. I was first to go through, quietly waiting when all I could hear was this very loud interupting noise. A really loud Motorcycle being revved, not once, not even thrice but constantly, and unnecessarily.

I looked around in search of this asshole on his (in all likelyhood) Harley, but no dice.

I heard it again, only louder this time, the revving continued, I couldn't even hear the radio. I looked in the rearview mirror and pulling up on this bike was a woman of slight stature and a bigger girl sitting behind her.

She was the one revving this terribley loud bike and she continued to do so after she pulled up behind me. I couldn't help but think she was a lesbian with her partner riding with her. Not because they had matching plaid helmets or Doc Marten shoes, I just got a vibe that this was just some missus out for a ride with her girlfriend.

But the constant revving of an obviously loud bike, commanded my attention. I know what it's like to rev up a motor, it's awesome and perhaps this girl loves it too, or maybe she's just looking for attention. I'd say the former.

Maybe she was a rebellious lesbian, one who cuts the arms out of her shirts. Maybe she spent a long time in the closet and now is in a constant state of rejoice.

Regardless, she is very happy to have this bike.

Motorcycles are great, and symbolize freedom and this girl is doing a great job of celebrating it. I could feel her joy and excitement from my vehicle, it was a very goodlooking motorcycle and she looked good on it as did her passenger.

I wonder how she felt when she first got the bike. I'm thinking she wanted it for a long time. I'm thinking it is now part of who she is. Like my friend who has a Harley and wears nothing but harley clothes, boots, jewelery and accessories. It is part of his lifestyle and in some part it identifies him. I'm assuming this woman feels the same. I'm figuring she has wanted this bike for a long time and now she finally has it he loves it and what it stands for and it just feels right.

I wonder though when she got on the bike and rode down the street, did she say to herself, "Man this motorcycle makes me feel more like a lesbian, I feel so much gayer now."

Who's the Fuckin Dork?

Who? Who you say, who?

Only the President of the World Bank. I bet that guy has women throwing panties and bras at him all the time, he's like Jon Bon Jovi, in New Jersey circa 1993. Can you imagine all the women that guy gets?

Seriously,What a DORK . . . Figures! And that's the official "portrait", I can't believe he Okay'd this. Like where was his wife?

It's G20 weekend and I'm watching the public reaction unfold on TV protesting the summit.

But don't get the wrong idea, I'm not one of those "no underarm deodorant, army boot wearing, dreadlocked, marijuana smoking - I only drink fair trade coffee" fucking hippies.

I think some of those fuckers should be arrested for the whole duration of the G8 and G20 Summits, and arrested on a newly enacted (the previous night - just to make em mad) legislation that allows the Po Po to hold individuals viably, that are suspected of practicing anarchy, creating mayhem and disrupting public safety. Mob mentality is contagious!

Protest all you want but don't throw rocks and burn shit. Geez, I haven't thrown rocks since I was like 8 chasing Brian Bullen on my bicycle on Farm Road. I threw a rock at him (we all did, I didn't even hit him), only to lose balance, falling off my bike and skidding along the dirt road, skinning out the palms of my hands and knees and worst of all scraping my poor little pre-pubescent gonad pouch.

Minutes later, back at my house: "Mom I fell off my bike", Face cloth, dirt, little rocks, red tender skin, my scrotum, ointment, pain and my tears, not to mention regret.

I had a feeling from then on that you do wrong and something bad happens to you. In my case that philosophy has rarely failed.