Here's a picture of Parsons and I playing fooseball in Kemptville Ontario.
He is the cat I have to toast on friday at his wedding. He's my best friend. I've written a lot of stuff - funny stuff. My girlfriend doesn't think it's that funny, in fact she thinks it's insulting. What I say is that everyone fails to realize it's going to be like a roast, like they do on "the mainland". Coming from Newfoundland all the speeches at a wedding are endearing and kind, but I want to make my speech funny and burn him a little. You know like it happens in most places. I'm afraid my audience won't get it. My audience - the whole time I was writing this shit were my buddies who are standing at the wedding as well. I know they'd get a kick out of it. In fact today I read most of it to Glenn, he thought it was funny but more sour than sweet and not in keeping with the "norm" as I like to put it.
This is Parsons and Glenn - both funny people.By the way that picture happened like that, it's not what you think.
These guys would totally get the whole thing. I even googled "bestman speeches" and all of them were of the bestman poking fun at the groom. I enjoyed them and wanted to follow in this long standing tradition. I usually do anything for the sake of being funny - as though my life were being documented - and this moment of comic genius had to come out.
But again I must stress that in Newfoundland we don't do those kind of toasts, and far be it than for me to be the trailblazer - the pioneer of Newfie Bestman Roast Toasts.
Do you know how many people I would offend? Generations of people. Especially the, lets say the exlax users or the cane walking crowd. To them that shit is just bad manners - and I agree. But it kills me not to go on with the speech the way I wanted to. Because it's hilarious. I love my culture just the way it is, I have enough trouble when someone doesn't know what a touton is!
I'm going to do a great toast, but I just wanted more laughter. Perhaps I will have to preface the whole speech by telling the audience what my vision was and how bestman speeches are done according to the internet.
